So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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