No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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