I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
