you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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