Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
