the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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