I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
