I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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