Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
