I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
