Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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