The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
