man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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