is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
