"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
