Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
