with your own penis?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize