she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
