I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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