please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
