I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
send nudes
from the living room?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
