on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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