Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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