NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize