I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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