Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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