when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
