I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
