This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
