Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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