Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
