he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
