We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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