imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
