I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's blow job season.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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