This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Terrible idea I love it
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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