she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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