I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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