If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
