If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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