you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize