How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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