giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
