Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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