I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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