I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
