The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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