Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
how drunk are you?
Several
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
