is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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