i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
