I want to have your abortion
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
