do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
