My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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