OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
