it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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