lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
