Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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