garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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