she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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