Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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