I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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