i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
