Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
