so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
