please come you make the beer taste better
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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