I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize