Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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