I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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