Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
