I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
