In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
